When I thought about that night later, I remembered the worksheet before I remembered the hospital. I remembered sitting with it at home. I remembered the pencil resting beside my …

PART 20 – I Kept the Unfinished Worksheet, Because the Night My Father Sent Me Away Didn’t Get to Decide Everything I Would Remember About Myself Read More

As time passed, I found myself thinking about home in pieces. The front door came to mind first. Then the hallway. Then the place where my backpack had rested before …

PART 19 – I Still Couldn’t Promise My Father That I Trusted Him, So I Stopped Trying to Give Him an Answer Before I Was Ready Read More

My father came back later. I heard him at the door before I saw him. He knocked softly. "Emma? Can I come in?" I turned toward him. "Yes." He opened …

PART 18 – When My Father Returned, He Didn’t Ask Me to Pretend the Night Was Over, and That Small Difference Stayed With Me Read More

When I woke again, my father was standing near the door. He turned as soon as he heard me move. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." "You didn't." He …

PART 17 – I Was Finally Allowed to Decide When I Was Ready, but I Still Didn’t Know What Would Be Waiting for Me at Home Read More

By the time my father asked about going home, I had been awake for a while. I was tired of the room. I was tired of the quiet. I was …

PART 16 – My Father Asked Whether I Was Ready to Leave, and I Told Him the Truth Instead of Giving Him the Answer He Wanted Read More

Later that morning, someone came into the room to check on me. I answered the questions I could. When she left, my father asked whether I needed anything. "My coat." …

PART 15 – I Looked at the Coat He Had Brought Me and Realized That Having My Things Back Was Not the Same as Feeling Safe Again Read More

The next time I woke, the room was lighter. My father was still there. He had moved the chair closer to the bed, and his head rested against the wall. …

PART 14 – The Questions I Had Been Too Frightened to Ask Finally Came Out, and My Father Had No Easy Answers for Them Read More

I woke up when the room was already dark. For a moment, I didn't remember where I was. Then I saw the white blanket, the small table beside the bed, …

PART 13 – My Father Stayed Beside the Hospital Bed, but I Still Needed to Know Whether He Could Listen When He Was No Longer Afraid of Losing Me Read More

My father asked whether I wanted to see my coat. I looked at him. “It’s right there.” He glanced at the chair and seemed embarrassed. “I meant whether you wanted …

PART 12 – The First Thing I Wanted After the Storm Was My Old Life Back, but I Was Beginning to Understand Why That Wasn’t So Simple Read More

The next time I woke, my father was talking quietly with someone outside the room. I couldn't make out the words. I lay still until the conversation ended. Then he …

PART 11 – I Had Always Thought Home Was a Place I Could Return to, Until My Father Made Me Question What the Word Meant Read More